Remembering 9/11 And The Return To "Normalcy"

As I reflect on the 6-year anniversary of the devastating attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001, I have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it really has been 6 years. Where has the time gone? What have I done with that time? It seems like it was only yesterday that it happened. I will never forget where I was when it happened. I was on my way to my Feminist Theories class at Weber State. I stopped into the Shepherd Union to get a strawberry smoothie. When I got into the food court area, the place was eerily quiet and everyone was crowded around the TV which was showing CNN. It was about 6:55 AM (mountain time). I wandered up to a guy who was standing there in disbelief. I asked him what happened. He said a plane had crashed into the north tower of the World Trade Center. I asked if it was an accident. He said he didn't know. I stood there watching the report, flames spewing from the building. The reporters were as bewildered as the rest of us. At 7:03 I watched in horror as the second plane smashed into the south tower...I watched it happen. The guy beside me said "holy shit." It was then that I knew that it wasn't an accident. It was clear that something was amiss; two planes don't accidentally run into the WTC. I bought my smoothie from a dumbfounded clerk and went back to my dorm room. I got there at 7:40. Three minutes later, a plane crashed into the Pentagon. That was when I began to panic.

I picked up the phone and called Teena. I was numb. We talked for about an hour, but most of that time we sat on the line, each of us watching the TV and saying "Oh, Jesus" or "Oh, my God" each time a new development came on. I distinctly remember praying for the towers not to fall down. I thought that if they could just stay up, they could get everyone out and it would be okay; my life would be okay and everything would go back to normal. That was when I started crying. I couldn't stop crying. I just felt helpless and violated and angry and hurt, all at once, and I didn't even know anyone that lived anywhere near New York City. I stayed in my room all day and watched the news. I flipped from channel to channel, letting it wash over me. It was like I needed to keep seeing the pictures and hearing the reports in order for it to be real; but it was surreal at the same time. I kept thinking in the back of my mind that maybe it was just a dream, a figment caused by some undercooked pork, and that when I woke up the next day, it never would have happened. I clung to that; I needed that. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that we had been attacked on our home soil. How could they do that? How could they hijack a bunch of airplanes? How could they get flying lessons? How did they get in the country? How could they do this to us, to me? Why would they do that? What had those people done to them?

The President had come out and instructed me to go on about the "normal" business of my life which meant going to class and working part time as a server at Rooster's Brewing Company. I went to work but all we talked about was 9/11. I selfishly wanted some kind of escape. After a few days of this, I desperately needed to laugh. I needed something to be funny. I wanted someone to make a joke out of the tragedy so I could stop wallowing in self-pity. I needed something to take my fixated mind off of Osama Bin Laden, Al-Quaida, the Taliban and terrorism. If I could laugh again, that was something the terrorists couldn't take from me. If I could smile, that would be my first salvo in the war on terrorism. That would be my return to "normalcy."

It began when Saturday Night Live had their season premiere on 9/29/07. Mayor Giuliani started the show with Lorne Michaels. Rudy says "Is it okay to be funny?" to which Lorne says "Why start now?" I almost smiled. The cast went through several sketches that were written with recurring characters, but nothing that really took a stab at terrorism. I did end up smiling and chuckling a little nervously here and there (much like the audience), but I still wasn't quite comfortable. It was not until the next week 10/6/01 that I really had a good laugh. Seann William Scott was the host, and the sketch that really had me in stitches, actually in tears was Will Ferrel's "patriotic underwear" sketch where he was late to a board meeting because he was being patriotic...by wearing a US flag g-string. It was friggin' hilarious. By the time that the show was over, I felt like that although the world I lived in would never be the same again, I knew that I could at least go on living each day and that once again it was safe to laugh, and that bastard Bin Laden could never take that away from me. I have also collected and reprinted some of my favorite Osama Bin Laden jokes, because if I can laugh at that piece of crap then he has no power over me. Enjoy.

• Top 10 Ways Osama Bin Laden Can Improve His Image
  From the Late Show With David Letterman:
  10. There's no way he can improve his image. He's a murdering, soul-less asshole (there were no 9 through 1).
• How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone? Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
• Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day? Because the camels can't handle it.
• What do Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common? They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
• What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common? Nothing, yet.
• Department of Homeland Security Alert - We've just been notified by Security that there have been 6 suspected terrorists working out of your office. Five of the six have been apprehended: Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody.
  Our agent advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin, at your office. Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.
  You are obviously not a suspect at this time.