Bands That Should Consider Reuniting For Cancer

I was puffing on some SoCal Gold this morning and a Gordon Lightfoot song came on. Now I realize that Gordon Lightfoot isn't a band, per se, but I think that he and other soft rock heroes shold come together and put on a show. Kind of like Ozzfest for old farts. Think about it, it could be great! They could team up and raise money for like the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Research Foundation, or maybe Jerry's Kids or something. They should call it AM Gold: Crooners for Cancer, or maybe Has Beens for Hope. I sat around my place and thought of what the lineup should be. This is what I came up with:

• Harry Chapin (Cat's on the Cradle)
• Dan Fogelberg (Longer)
• The magic of Doug Henning
• Grand Funk Railroad (Some Kind of Wonderful)
• Captain & Tennille (Love Will Keep Us Together)
• Intermission
• Gordon Lightfoot (Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald)
• Peter, Paul & Mary (Puff The Magic Dragon)
• The ventriloquism of Willie Tyler & Lester
• Earth, Wind & Fire (Shining Star)
• Neil friggin' Diamond (September Morn) with special guest John Denver (Country Roads)

Then I went online and did a little research. I had to change the lineup somewhat. I was not aware of this, but apparently, John Denver perished in a plane crash in 1997. Don't give me any crap...I was in friggin' Africa at the time. The only news I got was about a crazy old man named Mobutu in the next village over that among other things tried to strap wings made out of aluminum foil and paint stirrers to his arms and ride a bike over a cliff in an attempt to fly. As it also turns out, flamboyant magician Doug Henning died of liver cancer in February of 2000 (who knew?). So instead of him filling some time between Dan Fogelberg and Grand Funk Railroad, I thought of iconic 70's comedians Richard Pryor, Red Foxx or Buddy Hackett. Unfortunately, all of them are dead too. So were the other 70's comedians I could think of like John Belushi and Chevy Chase. I was beginning to struggle to find another variety act. I wanted to stay away from having more than one ventriloquist, so Shari Lewis & Lamb Chop were out. Then it hit me: what says 1977 better than Captain Kangaroo? Son of a bitch he's dead too. So is Jim Henson. Well crap. I didn't want to do this, but I'll just have to go with J.J. "DYNOMITE" Walker, although I was never a big fan of What's Happenin' (except for Rerun. I am one hell of a Rerun dancer.).

I think once I finish this bag of Doritos (Cool Ranch) and nosh on a few Toll House cookies, I'll see if my buddy Zack knows any concert promoters. This could be huge with the 35-60 year old demographic and may also draw in some younger cats into nostalgia music. Or I may just go and get a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby. That stuff is the bomb!