Road Trip!

Well, this is it! I've been accepted to App State for the spring semester! Rather than moving in the dead of winter from Boise to Moore (let's just say snow and ice would be an issue), I've decided to pack everything I can fir into my van and me and Mitch are going on a road trip! I'm totally stoked. The trip itself is about 2400 miles. I plan to break it up into five stages and chronicle my odyssey in pictures. I'm very excited! I'm packing my fave road food: Pringles, Whatchamacallit bars, Corn Nuts, Diet Pepsi Max, Gatorade, Twinkies, Peanut butter sandwiches, and weed.

• Leg 1 - Boise, ID to Ogden, UT. I have to stop at my alma mater, Weber State one last time to take in the campus atmosphere and visit a couple of my buds from the Women's Studies department.
• Leg 2 - Ogden, UT to North Platte, NE. I've never been across the entire Cornhusker State, so this should be something to see. I plan on checking out the Fort Cody Trading Post and taking in the miniature Wild West Show that runs every 30 minutes.
• Leg 3 - North Platte, NE to St. Louis, MO. Time to take a tour of the Anheuser-Busch brewery and get a free snort of the King of Beers. If the Rams or Cardinals are playing, I'll take in a ballgame!
• Leg 4 - St. Louis, MO to Huntington, WV. We are!....Marshall! I'm totally going to look and see if I can see Randy Moss or Matthew McConaghy!
• Leg 5 - Huntington, WV to Moore, NC. The final leg through the glittering fall colors of the Appalachians! It will be totally sweet!

I'm taking the van by my buddy Zack Fardy's cousin Galindo Mars III's garage to make sure that the VW is good to go. I will of course have my laptop and Sprint card with me to update the blog as I go along. Let me send a shout out to Thundering Biceps. If you lie anywhere along the route, send a hit to my blog and I will make a stop. I need to check out those biceps myself. And if you buddy Steve comes along, I will take Mitch and beat him in the mouth until all of his teeth are knocked down his throat because he is a no-talent crapsicle.

Grey's Anatomy vs. Private Practice

So here's the question ABC is asking us...can Grey's Anatomy still be as good without Kate Walsh (Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd) and Isiah Washington (Dr. Louis Farrakhan) or will Kate's new show be better? The shows each have fantastic potential, and because of that, ABC has them on 2 nights, Wednesday 9/8 C for Private Practice and Thursday 9/8 C for Grey's Anatomy. Grey's could suffer without the Christina/Burke love action, and the George/Izzie/Callie triangle is a bit harder to believe now that T.R. Knight has been outed by ex-ABC employee Isiah "Faggot Basher" Washington. Unconfirmed sources have spotted him hanging out with OJ in Vegas, working on his "anger issues" with the Juice. Not to mention that George flunked the intern exam...what a gimp. I have to say that I was disappointed in ABC for firing Dr. Burke. I've never lain with a black man (not even when I was in Africa, but my parents had me on a short leash), but I have to believe that getting nailed by him is as close as a mortal can come to touching the face of God without dying first. He has an otherworldly attraction to him; a black President Clinton. You know it's wrong, but all he does is smile and look at you and you wind up with DNA on you blue dress.


For me, Kate Walsh's character was the most intriguing on at Seattle Grace. She was vulnerable yet strong, and the story lines for her never really got going anywhere, even with the whole McDreamy/McSteamy story arc. Everyone else as the hospital was taking turns shagging each other and pining for each other. The crossover episode when Addison went to LA to visit her old med school chums was the best one of the season. I'm throwing my lot in with the kids at Private Practice. I think it has potential to be a better show than Grey's Anatomy this year. I of course will still watch the sexiest doctors on the planet in Seattle, but let's get real. When have you ever been to a hospital with such a high concentration of studs and babes? Puh-lease! My orthotics guy looks like his mother beat him upside the head with a stick and threw acid on the left side of his face (he maintains that he has a rare skin disorder...I call it leprosy). I am curious to see how the two shows do. I will have to make sure to set my Tivo to catch all of the drama that these two shows have in store. I have no choice but to tune in and see.

OJ Jailed - Held With No Bail(ed)

Well I'll be jiggered! The "authorities" in Las Vegas have thrown the book at the Juice due to his involvement in what LVPD is calling armed robbery and what OJ is calling his own "sting operation." In a related story, Florida Citrus Growers have officially changed the name of Orange Juice from "OJ," "Juice," or "Orange Juice" to "Jugo de Naranja," "Jugo," or "Naranjito" to distance themselves from Simpson. A spokesperson for the FCG was quoted "It's bad enough that he moved here from California. Now he's giving us a bad name as well. Jugo de Naranja is bound to do well with the growing Latino demographic, and will catch on with rich white suburban kids withing the next 6-12 months. Let's just pray that no Nicaraguan mass murderer named Jugo gets any press here or we'll be forced to change our name to 'jus orange,' which would be a shame because I'm not a big fan of the French."

Officially, the Juice is charged with two counts each of robbery and assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit robbery, and burglary with a deadly weapon, said Capt. James Dillon of the Las Vegas police. Simpson has declared his innocence, telling The Associated Press in an interview that there were no guns involved in what he described as a self-organized sting operation intended to retrieve some of his sports memorabilia. At a press conference, police said Simpson was implicated after police arrested one of his golfing buddies, Walter Alexander, at the Las Vegas airport. On Sunday morning, police executed search warrants at three locations and confiscated two firearms.
Alexander, of Mesa, Ariz., was charged and released on his own recognizance, sparking speculation that he is cooperating. I guess OJ just can't get the high-quality "I'll drive you around the freeway in a white Bronco with a gun to your head" kind of friends anymore. Now he can only scrape together the "I'll go along with your crazy plan, just please don't kill me" kind of friends these days. A pity. Perhaps OJ's new lawyer Yale Galanter (no, I didn't make that up) can get OJ off on the patented "irony defense."

I personally think that OJ, Tonya Harding and Lorena Bobbitt should go into business together in the New York/New Jersey based "waste management" business. Have a pesky "mess" that needs to be "cleaned up?" No problem. Our professional staff of bumbling psychopaths is available 24 hours a day to help you out. And not to worry, we'll draw so much press that no one will ever suspect that you had anything to do with the "waste disposal." We're also available for personal appearances, book signings, etc. I wonder what they would call it? Maybe "I Did It Waste Disposal," "Crazy Inc. Waste Management," or "Infamous Waste Disposal." Their slogan could be "There's no mess we can't screw up, I mean, clean up." I think Vegas needs a new ad campaign, because obviously, what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas.